Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber'd here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,"
– A Midsummer Night's Dream
Yesterday, I told Verna I am not even sure if I like Ireland or not, even though I have been staying here almost 9 months. It happens so fast and so far. It is so fast that I have no time to hug every friend and say goodbye; so far that I am confused Ireland as Taiwan on the edge of the Atlantic.
I still remember the picture I saw on my transfer from Heathrow to Shannon: my flight was waiting on the runway to take off, while I saw 4 to 5 flights, like shining stars arrayed in the sky, ready to land one by one. The first time in my life I feel the expanse of the world, the tolerance of an empire, and the altitude of a country which embraces and is embraced by the world. The scene would have been unimaginable for someone like me: living on a self-closing insular country and he own world.
When everything: Guinness, Irish folk music, the incessant rain, the blooming wild flowers and the boundless verdancy, becomes usual, I just stop to explore the deeper meaning behind them because living a life can be just as simple as going to Aldi every Monday afternoon, having a regular meeting at Scholars whenever Hermitage Green comes, seeing the same people again on every TGIF for International students, and the wild trips on occasional weekends. When everything of these become parts of my life, I just forget I am a short-term visitor, which means separation awaits me ahead.
I was reading Four Quartets on my way back from Dublin this afternoon, and lines in "Burnt Norton" caught my attention: "I can only say, there we have been: but I cannot say where./ And I cannot say, how long, for this is to place it in time." "There" is where I was, am and will be. It should be a collective time shared by everyone how has been in part of my life here. Without them, the time is maimed and fragmented, and I can only remember it happened but not where and when, before or after. Reminiscence is such a peculiar thing because it contains an immanent presence at every glance, and that's why everything looks just like happened yesterday, or, to be specific, seconds ago. My life in Ireland does not succeed the one in Taiwan. It is as if I have lived in a parallel world, a world you can be surprised or hurt, wonderful or plain. Nevertheless, everything is dreamlike when you return to the reality. Yes, it's a dream like what Shakespeare wrote. A group of people (I believe fairies will be hard to find now) come to a mesmerizing forest, sharing their youth and passion together, but there always a moment of restoration of orders before the curtain is drawn. The only difference is the true love is still not found, and the Fairy Queen does not fall in love with the ass-headed man.
There's still reason in the insanity.
When everything: Guinness, Irish folk music, the incessant rain, the blooming wild flowers and the boundless verdancy, becomes usual, I just stop to explore the deeper meaning behind them because living a life can be just as simple as going to Aldi every Monday afternoon, having a regular meeting at Scholars whenever Hermitage Green comes, seeing the same people again on every TGIF for International students, and the wild trips on occasional weekends. When everything of these become parts of my life, I just forget I am a short-term visitor, which means separation awaits me ahead.
I was reading Four Quartets on my way back from Dublin this afternoon, and lines in "Burnt Norton" caught my attention: "I can only say, there we have been: but I cannot say where./ And I cannot say, how long, for this is to place it in time." "There" is where I was, am and will be. It should be a collective time shared by everyone how has been in part of my life here. Without them, the time is maimed and fragmented, and I can only remember it happened but not where and when, before or after. Reminiscence is such a peculiar thing because it contains an immanent presence at every glance, and that's why everything looks just like happened yesterday, or, to be specific, seconds ago. My life in Ireland does not succeed the one in Taiwan. It is as if I have lived in a parallel world, a world you can be surprised or hurt, wonderful or plain. Nevertheless, everything is dreamlike when you return to the reality. Yes, it's a dream like what Shakespeare wrote. A group of people (I believe fairies will be hard to find now) come to a mesmerizing forest, sharing their youth and passion together, but there always a moment of restoration of orders before the curtain is drawn. The only difference is the true love is still not found, and the Fairy Queen does not fall in love with the ass-headed man.
There's still reason in the insanity.
It's unfair to say Ireland is boring, but I find no better description for these: the downpour at Cliff of Moher, Burren rocks, Galway Bay, foam under the cliff of Aran Island, the mirror-like lake in Killarney. Maybe it only needs some time to remember and miss. When I discovered there are 2 bars in the heart of the campus, I knew my international life would not be as peaceful as I expected. There were craze and wildness, and all of them are hard to comprehend with drunk eyes. There are some people can only be found at bar tables, some found in front of girls' room, and some found at your emergency.
There are some moments I feel desperately lonely.
I mumble in Taiwanese sometimes, just trying to make a partner for myself. If a Spanish says a word in Spanish, German, French, or Italian may say something in common with the Latino/European language. However, if I say a word in Chinese, it is just like some peculiar drawings with spooky sound. There is no similarity among them, and it frustrates me sometimes. When I am the only one from the other continent, or even the other half of the earth, I understand the definition of being a stranger, not just a visitor but someone culturally and linguistically disconnected. Friendly people may show some curiosity, but most of the European people just cannot bother less. Someone says 'Sawadica' to welcome me whenever he sees me, but he just cannot spend 10 more seconds to figure out the difference between Thailand and Taiwan.
I came with out applause and leave without hugs.
I thought at least the weather would give me some comfort but it kept gloomy for all day long today as usual. I am glad I have survived this year of International Exchange. The only difference between mine and the Erasmus one should probably be my heterogeneous cultural background. After a 9-month experiment, I understand eating extra amount of potato (fried!) will not kill you.
I thought at least the weather would give me some comfort but it kept gloomy for all day long today as usual. I am glad I have survived this year of International Exchange. The only difference between mine and the Erasmus one should probably be my heterogeneous cultural background. After a 9-month experiment, I understand eating extra amount of potato (fried!) will not kill you.
The feeling of departure is weird. When I had dinner around UL this afternoon, the scene outside of the windows looked just 'normal.' Yes, normal, as plain as nothing is going to happen or to be changed. Living in Ireland has become part of my life, and I doubt if I can actually forget it, and there's no reason to be oblivious to such a wonderful experience.
I want to thank my OPC friends. Actually I can not name you one by one because almost all of my friends are from OPC, the best club ever. But I have special thanks Paul, because I benefit from him a lot. I started mailing OPC member about 'one month before' I set my feet on Ireland: Is there a climbing wall? Do we hike a lot? What kind of gears we need? Paul was the one in charge of answering the bothering Taiwanese's questions and he took me to my first Great Limerick run around UL Campus. Tomás, Gary, Jerome, Davis, Janette, you are the best climbing partners ever, and we did have a fabulous time in El Chorro, especially when I was crying for Buddha's help on El Caminito del Rey. Darragh, Chris, Paddy, Simone and Mac, I will remember you forever. Not because we are good fish buddies in Brokeback Mountain but because the unforgettable night in the kishue. It's actually quite interesting when I start to rethink about it, and, of course, in my cozy bed with a cup of hot coffee in my hands. Other partner in the OPC trip: Eric, Maureen (lovely couple!), Clemence, Mercedes, Ferghaul, Patrick, etc. I cannot number everyone of you, but the 13 days in Scotland was the happiest days in my life, let the Kangaroo Court judgement time.
I want to thank my ex Plassey House No.5 roomates. We don't have family style dorm in Taiwan, and you guys made up my college fantasy to live with people like living with your family. It's surprising I still remember you so well after 5 months and everything looks like just happened a blink ago. It's crazy for poor students like us to travel to Geneva, the city of hotels and expensive boutique. The only big meal was a cheese fondue shared by Aaron, Trevor and me. Maybe I should steal a few fish from nearby parish because it was the hungriest trip I have ever had. Don't forget to earn big money or hitting the jackpot so that we can buy a hottage in the Alps and have a BBQ there, once in a year, to show off our richness. And Doug, you sentimental tough guy. I thought you are a lady killer, and you turned out being good at killing man, too, with letters. I enjoy every letter or card from you. Let's keep writing and keep in touch. When Becca celebrates her birthday this year, she may try Raspberry and vodka, it tastes much better than the 'Happy OJ.'
Special thanks to several people: Sarah from Belgium; Jana and Petra from Czech; Jedrek, Martyna and Sonia from Poland; Koko, Adnan, Jassie and Minto from Paris. Your help for my trip made everything agreeable. I am so afraid that when I am used to your kind help. I will probably forget how to walk alone. I made a draft for my next European trip like this:
1. Get a girl friend in or to Paris.
2. Propose to her in Prague (If I change my life plan...).
3. Have Honeymoon in Brugge.
4. When I am divorced, I go to Poland and try the Vodka there again.
You are the most welcome ones. If you drop by Taiwan someday, I will show you the Taiwanese hospitality and the crazy Asian life.
I am glad to meet Jordi, Charles, Anja and Mel this semester. I had no intention to make any new friend this semester for being sick of saying goodbye and the affectionate tears. Jordi and Charles you are good men. Just remember my swollen right hand after the Galway night, and you will know how to enjoy fun without being chased by the Garda. Anja, you are perfect, but a girl who is able to do 250 push-ups is unimaginable. It's forbidden for woman to be stronger than man (?). I will break you records before I meet you next time. I also know you deliberately ran slower in the not-too-great Limerick run. Next time, bring it on! Melanie, are you sure you don't want to move to Taiwan? The weather here is suitable for growing cocoa trees, and you can have your own chocolate garden here.
Blahblahblah, if I don't control myself, I will keep writing and miss my flight in 10 hours.Everything is like a dream, and I have to wake up in the beginning of summer time.
Goodbye, my friends.
Au revoir, mes amis.
再見，我的朋友們。
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